Zia Hassan

What A Crappy Day

+++ title = “01” date = 2003 +++

Quarter to six and I’m sitting in my room eating noodles. The weekend has begun.

Today was a really horrible day. I started off by telling Christine about how I thought it was going to be a terrible day for some reason, and she disagreed, and said that my day is only as good as I think it’s going to be. So if I think it’s going to bad it’ll be bad, and vice versa. But I guess I was right.

I asked Jenny if she blocked me from her buddylist, cuz I never see her online anymore. And she kinda stumbled and said she blocked everybody until they IM her. Only thing is that’s impossible since no one can IM you when they are blocked. But well, I coudln’t expect her to just be like “yeah, i blocked you cuz i don’t like you.” I mean I can’t blame her, I’d probably make something up too like that, if I blocked someone I found annoying. It’s just bringing back all my self esteem issues that I thought I was free of. I guess I didn’t really talk to her that much online, but obviously I’m not cool enough or something. I’m not being overdramatic. Dramatic yes, but not over. Coulda been anyone… I just can’t tell anymore. People say I’m just paranoid, but I’m really not. I feel so crappy. Laura brought up the fact that most of the time I am paranoid. She’s right… but sometimes it’s just really hard to differentiate between thinking you’re disliked and actually being disliked.

Another thing I think is funny is certain people can do certain things and look really cool, but another person can do the same certain things and be called an idiot. If someone hotter made my type of jokes, people would laugh at them instead of cringing. I’m happy for my friends though. I mean, happy I have them. And also happy that things are working out most of them. Just waitin’ on news from Billy on college, and then all my friends will be in college.

PJ and I totally seized the day yesterday. We just randomly decided to go to Taco Bell after school and order a taco each. It was great, the weather was nice and tacos are always good. I still felt kinda bad yesterday too. I couldn’t figure out why. I’m just glad that I’m seeing Christine tommorow. And my other friends tonight. Really if it weren’t for them I’d be really alone. But then again, without friends you probably get used to solitude. And probably enjoy it. It is SO cold in the house right now.

I’m glad I’m finally getting my thoughts out again. It’s making me feel great, and what’s especially great is that no one really reads this. I’m really glad about that. Hah, I bet 24 people are reading this right now. Well, at least I’ll never know. I COULD make this entry private, but truthfully, I like going to the page at the end and seeing it there :-). I don’t know why, but I’m sure all LJ users do it. I just yawned while chewing gum and it stuck to the roof of my mouth, I was getting really afraid of it falling down and me choking to death.

Well, the math quiz yesterday went pretty badly. I forgot to divide by 2 on the back and forget EVERYTHING on the front. Maybe she’ll give me credit for showing the work. Cuz I knew my shit, it was just a matter of dividing the shit by 2.

Well my mom just told me that we’re going out tommorow night for Aunt & Uncle’s anniversary. But I already made plans with Christine, so she’ll have to suck it up and deal with it.

Steph and Lauren stopped by today in school to say hi to Ingram. It was cool to see them, it’s good to know they haven’t changed too much. But then again I only saw em for like an hour.

Found out yesterday the lead singer of the New Radicals wrote the new Santana/Michelle Branch. I think that’s awesome – he’s such an awesome producer and songwriter, yet he never made it anywhere with his own music, besides one-hit-wonderdom.

I was supposed to go to Vaco tonight with Sami and her friends. I just didn’t feel like staying up till 2 in the morning… and it’d be my 7th Vaco show or so. Maybe 8th. I just gave Sami money to buy me the new record, and I can’t wait for it. I personally think it will be their best yet. So many great songs, especially Johnny Wonder. That’s probably my most current favorite VaCo song.

Well I’m feeling shitty enough that I want to go to sleep. Maybe I’ll change the layout of my live journal so it’s easier on the eyes before I do that. I’m just looking forward to Toad. Only a couple months or so now. Hope it doesn’t sell out in two seconds. I can’t wait till tommorow. She always makes me feel amazing again. Being sappy sure, but can’t help but write what I know.

I’ll fly to you.