+++ title = “04” date = 2003 +++

I’ve only eaten one thing today and that is an IHOP burger. By today, I actually mean yesterday since it’s actually April 6 now. It’s about 1 in the morning and I just got back from the Martin Sexton show. This was hands down, the best concert I’ve ever been to. John Mayer, Toad, even Vaco… Martin made them all look talentless with a simple guitar and the sweetest voice you’ll ever hear. That is a bold statement, since I’ve seen vaco 7 times and I’ve been a Toad fan since 1990. My expectations for what a good concert is have been raised.

I mean honestly. Some of the notes he hit were just unbelievable, I’ve never heard notes like that. Andy & Billy woulda been so impressed. Christine really enjoyed it too it seemed – there were times where she just coudln’t wipe the grin off her face – and rightfully so! At one point, there was a taper in the audience… front row, with a microphone and minidisk. Martin started singing into the guys mic cuz he was so close. Can’t wait to hear how that came out.

Got all my Ziggy Marley stuff. I’m doing a promotional thing for him and getting paid, which is great. Not a whole lot, but definetely something significant to my wallet. His album is really decent, and I’m not even a big reggae fan or anything. It comes out April 15, but they sent me about 7 advance copies.

Ugh, I smell like smoke. Stupid 9:30 club always makin me smell like smoke. I got a recording gig tommorow with Stephen Bragale. I haven’t touched my mixer in like months, so it’ll be nice to get back into the swing of things. And I need to start puttin together more of my own music. Writing more. I need to make an actual record. I put a bunch of songs together and called it an album… but truly it’s not an album. I’m proud of maybe 3-5 songs on it… and I think once I make a cd of 10-15 songs that I’m proud of, I can call that an album.

Then what? Would I sell it? That would be an investment, and I think that the people who would buy it would mainly be friends, since I don’t actually play anywhere yet. Maybe next year, who knows, I could score some gigs at American. And if not, I’ll keep being a recording artist. Making music in the most creative way possible. I really am a one-man sorta guy. Not in a self gratifying sorta way or anything. I mean… and let me get a diet vanilla coke before I explain…

I like a creation, where I am in complete artistic control. The thing that sucks about this, is that I can’t play my own drums, I can’t play bass, and I can’t be my own band without things falling apart. So, I make it up for it in creativity. The problem now is getting that level of creativity to the point at which it adds to the creation without seeming out of place or “just there.” Is this making sense? It doesn’t matter. The fact is, I never want a straight up band. I have nothing against the idea. I just think if I were to ever make a record, it’d have to be something different. I don’t want to be like radiohead or something. I just want me to come across. Sometimes in recodings that I do, it happens. I hear me in them, that’s when I’m proud, that’s when I’m happy with them. When I hear a slight echo of my influences. That’s when I’m happy. Even if the song was good, but it was so obvious that it didn’t come from my own emotion, I woudln’t be satisfied.

But still… and then what? If I’m really gonna go anywhere, I need to make a name for myself. And right now, I don’t care about that. All I care about is stacking another demo in a stack of demos, so that when I actually work, and actually have talent one day, and I can come back to the stack and be like “here’s something that had potential… let me potentialize it.”
I’m in no hurry. Let life slap me in the face, give me a bath, massage me… whatever. I try to let it come day by day. It’s a rhythm that I fuck up so much. 1 am is a fantastic time to write in a journal.

On the metro on the way home, I overheard a guy say:
“He let the Jamaican cab driver come up to his room and played him a song. Can you believe that? I definetely would never let a Jamaican cab driver in my house, and I definetely would not serenade him!”

Trying to figure out the back-story to this is just not even sensible. My brain hurts anyway. I’ve stopped listening to music late at night. I need to start doing that again. Gettin’ back into Duncan now… I mean he’s always there but I’m just listening to him more now. I learn something new every time I hear one of these tunes.

I broke a red light yesterday, I think. I was over the stop line when it turned yellow and I might’ve gotten a ticket. There’s definetely a camera… it’s just a matter of whether or not it took the photo. I didn’t see a flash or anything. Please please please no ticket.

It’s funny how one hour gets tossed out of a day and everything gets out of whack.

Today was a really nice sunday. I woke up late, round 11:30 I think. My mom had made pancakes, so I sat near an open window wndow and chilled and ate my pancakes. After that I chilled in my bed a little bit and just let the day roll on. Read a little bit of Les Mis (which rules by the way) and some of Zen and the Art… one of those so called intellectual books that everyone is supposed to read. It’s been described to me as “boring at some points, but the best book i’ve ever read.” Well darn.

Some kid from WJ wrote a review on Les Mis and gave me an F, which is worse than anyone else got. I was about to get all offended and then I found he’s playing the pimp! That just made the whole thing seem amusing rather than offensive. Also cuz I can’t picture anyone else besides Mitch in that part. Haha, scramble bitches. He said I was like Dr. Strangelove. I really want to go to the show in a wheelchair and talk to him in a german accent about how well he did playing le peemp.

Well right now it’s 11:14 and the reason I still haven’t gotten tired/gone to bed yet is because it’s daylight savings and my body clock is thrown off. It’s ok because I mean, I’ll be wakin up an hour later than… oh shit… goddamn fucking science. I’m waking up an hour earlier. Why’d I have to think about it? Now, the psychologicalness will take over and I’ll feel really tired tommorow and probably be hardcore napping by the time I come home. Mmm… nap.

Steve came over to record today. Very happy with how it went. He was quick and didn’t reallly require more than one take to get the tracking done. Not to say more than one take is a bad thing 😉 You should see me mixing my music. I’m reading more about the art of mixing and realizing some interesting shit. If I give every instrument a different frequency, the mix will sound a lot more balanced. This kinda shit is supposed to be obvious to me. Why am I so dumb??? But yeah anyway, we did about 4 tracks, and they’re probably the best acoustic tracks I’ve produced.

Speaking of recording… I came up with the songs I’m planning to record in the next few weeks. List is for my reference. Let’s see… mutual thing, orchestral mood, maybe pneumonia… thinking of trying a slower version of it or something. Maybe even genius… like a brand new recording. And mixing till it sounds good as shit and then making a good cd or something. I think writing over the high school period has prepared me and let me know when I write a good song.

Is it supposed to be cold tonight? I am so warm in my room. Simpsons was hilarious tonight. Can’t believe I only discovered that show like a year ago.

Wow, 3 more days of school, then AU overnight, and then spring break baby!!!! YEAH!!!!! So what the fuck’s up with this school day at the end of spring break. That ain’t happening. I’m not going to school, and neither is the school, and pretty much all of the teachers aren’t either. We’re caught up, come on MCPS. I mean we probably aren’t, but who gives a shit, I’m graduating right?

I’m scared for this AU sleepover thing. But Lauren will be there, so at least I’ll have someone to talk to. Or maybe I’ll meet some cool people that’ll be my friends next year. Orrrr, maybe I’ll come home every weekend. What will be my fate? Tune in next year.

Bed, here I come.