Zia Hassan

Ignoring Advice

I give and get advice all the time.

On the giving part: these days, I’m a bit more reserved. I scour more than most, I am a seeker. I’m also a messenger when I find a useful technique or a piece of art.

But I give less these days because I know what it’s like to get advice.

Sometimes someone will say something to me, some advice or recommendation that is perfectly appropriate for their life experience but incompatible with mine. It causes cognitive dissonance, especially when it comes from someone I respect.

But that’s all part of what my therapist describes as tuning into yourself. Despite the fact that I create things from my imagination on a nearly daily basis, I have a hard time accepting that I could have a different perspective than my beloved family and friends. This is further by compounded by the group think that seems to happen over social media.

So I give less. Because the appropriate advice for me is not necessarily the appropriate advice for another. And it’s very hard to tell. I once recommended a guitar to a musician who played similar music to me. Much to my surprise, they hated the guitar, opting for one that I would’ve never selected.

Just because you’re like someone else, doesn’t mean that your life values and rules are appropriate for them, even if they’re looking for life values and rules (as many people do).

That’s because life values can only be realized by tuning into one’s self and maybe, just maybe, ignoring everything else for a time.