Zia Hassan

Step Outside

David you’re probably gonna be the first person to read this. Or maybe the only.

I’ve been telling everyone to step outside recently, and what I mean is, step outside of your stress, your tension, whatevers holding you down. Once you step outside of that and take a look at yourself, it all seems so meaningless and stupid. I forget how to do that sometimes, and it takes some effort. Elyssa said she took my advice and it made her feel better about life, so I’m kinda glad. It’s interesting, Billy doesn’t ever get stressed. Well he mentioned being stressed about college apps and stuff, but generally he’s pretty calm about things. If there’s one thing I admire about Billy it’s that thing. I wish I could be like that – and recently I’ve been moving more in that direction.

I haven’t written here in a long while … the show has been taking up time hardcore and I’m glad that it’s finally ending. I mean, not that my experience in Wootton Theater… or actually in theater in general is ending… but I mean it’s really about time that I start doing other things with my time. Like writign in my live journal!

The show is going superbly well. I dunno if that’s even a word. Everybody’s stressed out… cast is down each other’s throats, crew’s there till 2 am everyday, brodsky is annoying everybody… but this is the meat that good memories are made of! And that ain’t even sarcastic. Nah, when it’s all said and done we’ll all be lookin back on the show with fond memories and warm hearts. Really sounds like a fairy tale but I swear it’ll happen. Christine was right, she was saying that everybody needs to have respect for everybody else no matter what, and then things will really run smoothly. I guess that means swallowing your pride and putting yourself on a stage with 60 other people, and smiling cuz you love it. I guess it means focusing on your tasks, and the things YOU have to do. I guess it means realizing that there is no Me, there is no I, there’s only a production that needs hardcore focus and dedication. Once we all get over ourselves, all we have left to do is tweak this already fantastic show into something phenomenal. My biggest challenge will be having respect for the people that don’t have respect for me, and not fighting fire with fire.

My arm hurts whenever I breathe in, and I’m not sure why. I have an english essay due tommorow and I’m not doing it. Big surprise there. Hopefully Ms. J will be down with it. And if not… well it’s not her fault. I don’t blame her. But I also don’t blame me.

I’m putting everything on hold for this week and then it’ll all be over. Nothing to worry about for a loooonnggg time. Oh, that is really really good to think about. I’m listening to the greatest music right now, Herbie Hancock… it’s a song that is really popular that they use a lot on commercials but I don’t know the name.

So we’re going to war? World War III? Terror alert raised to orange?

I know NOTHING about politics. Everybody’s anti war it seems besides Chris & Billy. I have no opinion. It’s not like I don’t care, there are a lotta people that don’t care. It’s like, I don’t have anywhere near enough knowledge to have an opinion. When Chris & Billy support their pro war stance, it all sounds valid, and the same for anti-war people. So I have nothing to really say on the matter, except that I hope not too many innocent people die.

Switching CDs right now. What should I listen to? Ah the postal service. Let’s hear it for new music!

Spring has finally sprung! It feels fucking good to be alive in spring. I wrote a springy instrumental tune about a year ago for Laura and Utkarsh and his friend helped me record it again a couple days ago with some fucking cool guitar solos (courtesy of ut’s friend Joby) and some freestyle vocals from utkarsh. I’m still gonna redo it, but it sounds really cool. My guitar should be at the store on Saturday morning. I can’t wait to be able to play it again. I already miss it and it’s been a couple days.

But back to spring. Favorite season. Cuz it’s like…. winter winter winter… SPRING! And it really does spring out at you. And it just feels so warm and nice, you can chill out in short sleeves and fly a kite with your hunny. When the show is over I plan to get caught up on school, fly my kite a lot, and be with my hunny a lot.

Life is spinning round and round right now and I’m trying to spin around to stay in sync with it. The thrill of the chase. You know writing this journal entry has been goo therapy, it’s forced me step outside of my problems and check em out from the shell. It really ain’t so bad, and it’s all winding down anyway. Expect a tired, mean, nasty entry tommorow from me, getting home at 10 pm. Nah, just fuckin. Expect a thoughtful one. Hope tommorow goes better than today.