Heres Some Stuff I Found

here’s some stuff I found.
On a Sear’s hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
darn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details in side.
the shoplifter special?

On a bar of Dial soap:
“Directions: Use like regular soap.”
and that would be how….

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
“Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
but, it’s “just” a suggestion.

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
“Do not turn upside down.”
well…duh, a bit late, huh!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
“Product will be hot after heating.”
…and you thought?…

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
“Do not iron clothes on body.”
but wouldn’t this save me more time?

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine:
“Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just
get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
and…I’m taking this because….

On most brands of Christmas lights:
“For indoor or outdoor use only.”
as opposed to…what?

On a Japanese food processor:
“Not to be used for the other use.”
now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.

On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
“Warning: contains nuts.”
talk about a news flash

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
“Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?

On a child’s superman costume:
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
“Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
Oh my God…was there a lot of this happening somewhere?