Zia Hassan

The Fallacy Of Should

The first time I had a therapy session, my therapist asked me how much sleep I get.

“Less than I should,” I replied.

She waited a beat, and then said: “There are no shoulds.” 

I took it as a fact, but it took me a while to figure out what it meant. A “should” is a direct link to the expectations of others. If we can define our own values and live by them, and if our values can allow for imperfect behaviors, “should” would dissipate as quickly as it apparated.