Zia Hassan

Dreams Of Being Unprepared

+++ title = “01” date = 2020 +++

I’ve had many recurring nightmares in my life, but none have been quite as prevalent as the one where I’m underprepared.

It takes a few forms. Sometimes I’ve forgotten that there’s a class I signed up for, never went to, and now I have to take the exam. Other times, I have a gig and I forget some equipment and while I’m trying to get things together people are leaving. Or I’m in front of a class without a lesson plan. So many different scenarios for the same dream.

What does it mean? 

I don’t know, but it’s probably that, like many of us, I have low-grade anxiety about being on time, being prepared and coming off as professional.

Truth is, we’re all a mess inside. I don’t mean that in a bad way, and there’s nothing to fix. But we play the role of the person who has it together simply because that’s what we need to project. It’s logical, practical, and stressful in a permeating way.