Completely Delusional

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a pop star. I was thrilled by the idea of writing songs and performing on stages.

So, to satisfy myself, I began performing on stages, playing my own songs at the age of 7. At family gatherings, I’d dance like Michael Jackson. In high school, I’d play my songs at parties and I’d think super carefully about my set list and banter. I’d perform magic for anyone who would watch. I still do these things.

I wasn’t really good. But to me, it didn’t get any better than this. To be able to create something interesting on the spot, live, in front of people… was exhilarating.

It all changed after college. I got self conscious. I was afraid of releasing things. I realized that everyone else thought magic was for geeks.

I could learn a lot from my younger self, as much as I shit on him. Because the secret was that back then I wasn’t trying to be something, I wasn’t even doing the “fake it till you make it” thing.

No, I was just completely delusional. Which I’m starting to believe is what it takes to be a true artist.