Zia Hassan

The Phases Of A Party

+++ title = “05” date = 2019 +++

You haven’t felt this for quite a while.

You’re at the party and it seems to be endless. Due to the nature of the fact that you’re intoxicated and also among your best friends, time seems to slow. Not to mention you’re younger, maybe in your 20’s.

The music’s loud, the booze is everywhere, there are people in a bedroom next door to you doing something or other, and in another room there’s a dance party of two. And all the while, you wonder if this is life from now on: working for the man and having get togethers on the weekend. No one’s ready to leave because no one has kids to get home to, and in fact, no one here really has a pet either so this could go on for a while.

But at some point, the party dwindles, and it happens slowly. People leave one or two at a time, and eventually the energy has gone from thunderous wave to quiet waterfall. Perhaps a poker game has emerged at 3am, and the drinks have gone from beer and vodka to scotch and wine.

When or how you fall asleep is hard to say, but it does happen at some point. To everyone. Sleeping arrangements aren’t really arrangements at all; in fact, sleep itself is simply a fast-forward to morning.

Which, when you wake up and find that everyone else has either snuck out earlier in the morning or is still fast asleep, is absolutely stunning. It feels good to be up early, even though you’re groggy. You pour a glass of ice water and wonder why you’d ever consider drinking anything else than this silky pure goodness making its way into the arid tunnel of your throat.

You sit at the kitchen counter. Was the light always this beautiful coming in? It feels a bit like you’re sitting atop a mountain and watching the light play off of the valley. You’re not alone, but you’re in solitude. You realize how much you like solitude, which is an odd realization to have in a room of crowded and unconscious people.

And this moment happens again and again, party after party, until you realize that the thing you crave the most from these get togethers is the morning light, and you might as well skip the drinking and dancing and scream-talking and just wake up early to catch the light.

And by the time you figure this out, you’re well into your 30’s. And it’s just fine.