Zia Hassan

People Get Old Air Is Less Cold New Wave Drinking Games

Over the couse of the year, I noticed that time was moving forward at a breakneck pace. I thought maybe it was factors like my classes being later in the day (spending more time sleeping, less time awake). But in the summer, I’m waking up at 7 every day, and it’s still flying by very quickly.

Two nights ago, on the brink of May 31st, we had a small get together at my house, to bring in Andy’s birthday. I invited Kevin, who I haven’t really talked to in almost a decade. He was kind enough to bring a sixpack of Negro. All of us had a great time, and the air was really warm. We saw a flicker of fireflies in the trees – a preview for what will come in July. Around midnight, we decided to get some fast food. Stood in the drive through at Wendy’s with no significant outcome. Chris drove us there like a soccer mom in his station wagon.

Last night: Andy’s house for more celebration of birthday. It was Billy’s too, so we enjoyed more hookah and beer pong on Andy’s deck. Beer pong is really juvenille sophisticated and classy. I won’t ever be accepted as a bro-bro college kid unless I enjoy beer pong. The game is really lame and unnecessary exciting, and there’s really a million better ways to drink beer no better party game. If you’ve spent the time to perfect your beer pong game, you probably don’t have any useful talents have a gift, and should be worshipped by the rest of your artificial friends. Since beer pong is a win-win situation highly competitive, it may sound weird that I’d rather have my opponent kick my ass since the point is to drink beer, an activity which is a simple process for most sink as many cups as you can. Since I’m not really good at the game, I consider myself to be a winner, because I end up drinking more than my opponent loser, and I should be ashamed. Based on interviews with players about their ability/skill/talent with Beirut, I’ve found that the average beer pong player thinks that they are “fucking amazing” and _"_own the table" among fierce competition when they go to parties.

I suppose there is a certain amount of boredom associated with drinking beer when there are no real constraints or consequences. Think of it as liberating. You can’t touch your drink unless the rules permit. Unless you draw a king, you can only drink x many sips, or unless your partner sinks the cup, your BAC is at a halt. Now, you no longer abide by another’s set of pointless rules – you can drink when you please, and how much you please. You don’t have to chug whatever is in the cup all at once because someone else’s rules say so. You can drink from a bottle, or a mug if you’d like. You can spend an entire night drinking a 12 oz. bottle of Corona, or you can have a 6 pack of Corrs Light in 30 minutes. The choice is yours, and no one can judge you for it, or say that you’re a winner or loser. You just are. Sounds better than a man law.

Still – we can reinvent a little.

Zia's New Wave Drinking Game #1: Wasted Chuckles

All players begin by drinking 2-3 beers at their own pace. Each player has a team-mate. Team Member A writes down an adjective and Team Member B writes down a noun and keeps it to themselves. During this process, no laughter is allowed, not even a giggle. Once everyone has written their combination, all of the combinations are read out loud, one by one. Laughter can be used, and will most likely ensue – during which the team members who wrote the combination must drink without pause. Once the last person stops laughing, the players must stop drinking. Players who are known to be witty, humorous, or players who have excellent delivery, are encouraged to keep a lot of extra beer in their cup as a precaution.

Zia's New Wave Drinking Game #2: Texas Drink Em

Players must follow the rules of Texas Hold Em for this game. Each player has two cups, one is 1/2 full of beer, and the other is 1/8. You may use more beer as long as the proportions are correct. Hands are dealt, and players place their cards face down in front of each of the cups. The dealer has 5 special cups. Two of these special cups are filled with a lot of liquid, the other three are filled with significantly less liquid. The cups must be covered in a way that players do not know which cup contains more. Whoever has the winning the hand then drinks whatever cups correspond to the cards in his hand. Whoever has the worst hand must drink the rest.

Zia's New Wave Drinking Game #3: Split Ham Hovered Ducker Pitch Ask Hummed

Players must be engaged in active conversation while sipping on their beers, but nobody must use any cuss words in their conversations. Players can go out of their way to use obvious replacements, such as “flippin,” “shnikes,” “darn” and “biatch.” Beers should not be chugged – they should be consumed at a medium pace. When a beer is finished, the player who finished it must nonchalantly mention a curse word in the conversation. Then, each player must say a cuss word. The last person to catch on must drink all of the beer left in the other players’ cups. If a player cusses before he or she has finished their drink, they are in charge of refilling everyone’s drink for the next round.

Zia's New Wave Drinking Game #4: Peer Pong

A table is set up, exactly like a Beer Pong table, except instead of a v shape, the cups are set randomly across the table. Dark cups must be used, so players cannot see how much liquid is in the cup just by looking at the side. Beer is poured into half of the cups, and the other half remain empty. Cards from the first deck are placed on the rims of the glass face up. Those corresponding cards are then divided among the players, at random. The players use their “hand” to take the cups that belong to them (the cards they have match the cards sitting on the cups). If a player is lucky, he will get the majority of the full cups.

The catch is, that if the loser wants to have some of the winner’s earnings, he or she may do so if the winner allows it. The amount of cups that the loser is allowed to drink must be repaid eventually, in the next round.

Zia's New Wave Drinking Game #5: Starry Night

Players sit out on a starry night. Everyone drinks beers at their own pace, and at the end of the night, the beers are counted. One for every great time we've shared as friends, and the remainder is for the future.

There’s a really funny short story on enoweb.co.uk about Eno’s return to Roxy Music (his first band, the one that got him famous). It’s based on the Da Vinci Code, and involves Eno talking to interviewers about not getting back together with Roxy… and then coming up to a screen with the words Roxy Music flashing. I don’t really understand it since I’ve never read the Da Vinci Code.

Plans for tonight: hang out with Chris, maybe PJ, maybe others for one last blast of summer before I head to rainy London.